Feeling sexy

Owning Your Own Beauty—Beauty of a Woman BlogFest

boaw-2013I’m excited to participate on the August McLaughlin’s Beauty of a Woman BlogFest.  Its mission is near and dear to my heart and psyche. I know what happens to one’s ego when you let the others, even the world at large, own your beauty and your body image.

Between the ages of 15 and 23, I was bulimic. No need to share the details, they are pretty widely known.…now.  But when I struggled with it–oh sometime last century–the knowledge of feeding disorders were only coming  into the light of every day awareness.  So at times, trying to get better, just made it worse because no one knew quite how to handle it.  The first psychologist I saw just gave me some diet tips (not exactly a brilliant strategy for a teen-age girl with body image issues who was only overweight, if compared to the babes in Glamour or Seventeen).  The psychiatrist I went to several years later focused on behavior not the underlying drives, suggesting I watch myself in the mirror when I eat.  That didn’t get me very far either.  Because behavior was the symptom, I needed to get at the root cause.

What both experts missed, and what I had to figure out myself , was to get better, I had to take ownership—of my body image, my body, and my definition of beauty.  It’s a hard lesson that I am trying to teach my daughter. But like most lessons that matter for our children, you can’t just do a worksheet and get it. (We can talk about education on another post). I get as many things wrong as I get right—like most parents–as I see the body images issues starting to rear their ugly head with my head strong tween. Here is what I finally learned, and what I hope to teach her.

So often, we take from the outside—what’s beautiful, what’s healthy, what’s right, the list goes on.  We are social beings and we want to belong, to be liked, to be noticed.  But by owning ourselves, defining beauty for ourselves, others will begin to see us this way.  By owning our beauty, we are teaching the crowd how to see us.

The first line of Margaret Mitchell’s classic Gone With the Wind, really encapsulates the power of ownership:

Scarlett O’Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were.

Vivien Leigh still

While there may be some objective standards of beauty, they don’t matter if you own your own.  Maybe that’s what really beauty is—what you define it to be for yourself and the sharing of that with others.

So go ahead, let yourself shine. Own your beauty.  It’s your right, your privilege and your responsibility.

What’s been your greatest challenge in accepting and owning your own beauty?

All participants and commenters will be entered into the prize drawing for kindle fire or equivalent Amazon gift card. The more blogs you visit, the greater your chances become.   You can tap all the others here.

Thanks for dropping by.

Sabrina


Sabrina Garie is on a journey to create the most kick-ass heroine in romance fiction. You can meet the first heroine in Fires of Justice at Elloras Cave, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble.

Lets Get Wicked: Wicked After Dark Blog Hop

Welcome to the Wicked After Dark Hop hosted by Close Encounters with the Night Kind and Natasha Blackthorne in honor of my favorite holiday–Halloween.

For this post, I get to be wicked any way I want to.  That’s my kind of freedom.  So lets combine some of my favorites sins–sex and food.  Like wine and food, what pairings work well together?  Get your thinking caps on and your libido in gear cause I’ll be asking you to do it too. I’ll start (some standard fare and here’s hoping you’ll find a new idea or two):

Appetizers (foreplay): Strawberries, chocolate, wine, sliced peaches oozing with juice (mangos or clementine slices work just as well), bananas, almonds, figs, champagne and avocados.

Main course (getting it on): whipped cream, honey, syrup (any choice you want), sticky, drippy ice cream (feeling really wicked, go for the whole sundae), jello, more wine,creamy cheeses (e.g. room temperature brie), oysters, mussels or clams dripping in butter (or anything else dripping in butter for that matter), caviar, nutella, and popsicles.

Dessert (afterglow): brandy, ice cream, and chocolate truffles.

Food not your thing. The kitchen table and kitchen counter can be put to other good uses.

Your turn. What food gets your sexy on?  Yes, there is a a prize for one commenter. I’m giving away a $10.00 gift card from Lindt or Godiva (your choice).  A little chocolate is always a good thing. I’ll let you decide how wickedly to use it.

Click here to link to the blog hop and the author amazing authors.  Have fun. Stay Naughty.  Revel in the wicked.

Sabrina

Here’s another fun form of wicked–erotic paranormal novels.  Here’s my new release from Ellora’s Cave.  Enjoy.

Always read the fine print when swearing an eternal oath to gods and guardians…

Beholden by the sacred vows of her coven, fire witch Calista Reid agrees to temporarily mate with shifter Cullen McMahan to fulfill a mission assigned by the guardians. When tall, dark and damaged arrives on her doorstep, generating enough heat to scorch a fire witch, Calista finds herself drawn to his battle-hardened body and broken soul. His pain speaks to her own deep-rooted isolation and the intensity of his hunger slakes her passion like no other.

Cullen, scarred by a past that left him an indentured soldier to the guardians, resents yet another hump-on-command assignment…until he encounters the compassionate, fearless, incendiary redhead who detonates his body and reawakens the emotions sacrifice and loss had suppressed. But Cullen harbors a terrible secret—one that reaches back into Calista’s troubled childhood and threatens the foundation of their growing bond.

Buy Links

Ellora’s Cave  

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

What’s Your Favorite Indulgence? Participating on the #NdulgentHop

I am excited to participate on the Indulgent Blog Hop hosted by the Ndulgent Bloggers.  Not only do we get to share my most indulgent books and other escapes, we are giving away swag.   Read on.

My favorite indulgence is not a book but a pampering at the spa.  A massage, mani-pedi, even waxing–all that stuff.  In my overly-programmed, digitally-embedded, way-too-busy life, carving out some time for my self  is nigh near impossible.  So when I do it, I like to drown myself in in the sensuality of a spa day (hour more likely but a girl can dream). Let’s face it, one can never can have too much touch.

Here are a few others, since indulgence is the theme:

  • Flan, creme caramel and chocolate pudding:  Love how they slide down the throat.
  • A glass of red wine after a long day that drains away the tension in mind, body and spirit.
  • The Harry Potter Series, because it takes  me away from the world and totally out of my own head.  I read most books because they toy with my head, force me to look inside myself, or act as a friend who understands my inner twists and turns.  Harry Potter was a total escape.

What’s your favorite indulgence?

Let me know and you might win a $10.00 gift card to Amazon or Barnes and Nobles (your choice).  I’ll put the names of all those who answer into a random drawing. Winner gets the gift card.

That’s not all.  In addition to my individual giveaways, the Ndulgent Bloggers are hosting a GRAND PRIZE of $100 gift card from WINNER’S CHOICE of Barnes & Noble or Amazon. You can enter using the following link:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

There’s more to win and more to learn.  Visit the marvelous other writers listed below who are participating on the blog hop and you can learn about their indulgences.  And each one has swag. So indulge!   Thanks for visiting, Sabrina.

Visit the Other Indulgent Blog Hop Writers

Geek Rock: A Playlist for LOVE KINECTION by Jennifer James

I am so pleased to welcome Jennifer James to my blog today.  Her debut Love Kinection is a fun, flirty, fabulously geeky and seriously hot romance that is flying onto those e-readers.  She is a fabulous writer with one of the most dynamic and exciting voices I’ve read in I don’t know how long.  She’s going  to discuss how she uses music to stoke the muse to churn this gem out.  Get yourself a copy. Join in the discussion. Jen is giving away trading cards to one commenter.  Take it away Jennifer…

Geek Rock: A Playlist for LOVE KINECTION

Anytime I get into a new project, I spend some time fumbling around looking for music that helps me put words to paper. It can range from nothing by Country to Classical, Rap to Bubblegum Pop.

While I was deep into the world of LOVE KINECTION, I found myself gravitating over and over to 70’s and 80’s big coliseum anthem type stuff. Journey. Survivor. Styx.

And then I’d end up with Katy Perry, Jessie J, and Kelly Clarkson. Don’t ask me, I don’t know why one thing works on a certain day but not another.

Some of the songs really tied into the story lines, some of them don’t at all. But for whatever reason, they got the juices flowing and I was able to put my nerd lore spouting hero and heroine through their paces.

Journey: “Faithfully”

This one always makes me think of Tom. Not about being on the road, but just how he feels about Abby. He’ll always be her man.

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Styx: “Renegade”

I love this song. There’s an episode of Supernatural that this song plays in. Such a great epi, great song. But anyway, the driving beat, and the fact that the bad guy is about to get his…And yet you feel sorry for him. I don’t know. It’s just awesome.

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Survivor: “High on You”

I can’t help it. I have an 80’s hair band obsession, mmmkay?  Quit laughing.

“I can’t stop thinkin’ bout you girl,

I must be living in a fantasy world.

Smart and coy, a little crazy,

The kind of face that starts a fight,

Let me tell you ‘bout the girl I had last night…”

:
Katy Perry: “Wide Awake”

Abby has a hard back to reality moment. This is one of Katy’s new songs, but I think it’s really appropriate.

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Jessie J: “Domino”

How else to describe Tom’s super sexay sexin’ skills? 😀  He’s a great guy, and pretty smokin’ in the sack as well. Sexual tension and flirting are his forte.

“I’m feelin’ sexy and free,

Like glitter’s rainin’ on me,

You’re like a shot of pure gold…”

:

Kelly Clarkson: “Survivor”

I don’t do heroines that aren’t proactive. Abby’s had a heard year and is working to getting better before she gets the text from Hell. She spazzes before coming back stronger than ever.

So, what’s on your playlist right now? What gets you up and going when you’re in the dumps or gives you the ear worm from hell? I’m giving a set of Romance Trading Cards to one lucky commenter!

Blurb:

Love, romance, hearts, flowers, cupid…. Rubbish.

Abby Fine still hasn’t gotten over the pain of a year-old betrayal and plans to spend this Valentine’s Day drowning her sorrows with a ménage of men named Ben, Jerry, and Riesling.

Her plans are diverted when she drops and breaks her new iPhone and gives in to a momentary hormone surge, agreeing to let office hottie and tech god Tom Walker squirm his way into her condo to fix it.

Tom shows up with his Xbox, spicy Chinese food, and a habit of stealing kisses every time she lets her guard down.

Can a weekend of laughter, video games, and movies change Abby’s opinion of stupid Cupid?

 

 

LOVE KINECTION is now available!

Decadent Publishing

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

All Romance EBooks

Smashwords

(Psst…buy from the publisher and save a dollar! J )

For a girl whose first book was called “The Scariest Forest Ever,” the jump to romance may seem to be a far one. But a love of happy endings and the stories she kept making up in her head for strangers on the street lead to an unhealthy amount of time spent behind the keyboard typing away and giggling mischievously over sassy heroines, sexy heroes, and healthy sprinklings of geek humor.

With time split between a day job staring at teeth, two little girls, college courses, workaholic husband, and too many voices in her head, Jennifer still finds time to sneak off and devour all the books she can find – even if it means hiding in the closet to read them.

She insists on her jokes being dirty, drinks spiked, and tattoos placed in intriguing, muscular places you can only find when the clothes come off.

Links:

Website: http://www.authorjenniferjames.com/

FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jennifer-James/212335188856799?ref=hl

GoodReads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/644267.Jennifer_James

Twitter: @JenniferJames34

Blogs I contribute to: Paranormalists http://paranormalists.blogspot.com/

Love Scenes and Wet Dreams: http://lovescenesandwetdreams.wordpress.com/

Coming August 9: Stoking the Muse with Jennifer James

 

I had so much fun hosting another author I decided to do it again. Coming on August  9, Jennifer James will be dropping by to discuss her fun, fabulous and just enough naughty new novella, Love Kinection.

Drop by and learn how Jenn uses music to stoke her muse and create fresh, flirty and sexy  heroes and heroines.  I loved Abby and Tom in Love Kinection and I bet you will too.

If you haven’t read it, you can click the book image and pick yourself up a copy.  Its worth it.  Come visit and meet Jenn.  See you Thursday.

An Interview with D.X. Luc: Creating Kickass Characters (Yes there are Give aways)

In my quest to create the most kick ass romance heroine ever, I am digging into how other writers do it. I am pleased to welcome the awesome D.X. Luc, whose hot new book Touch of the Gods: The Wager has the god Hephaestus falling in love with a mortal woman.

It takes a kick-ass female to attract and keep the love of a god.

If you’re looking for a hot read, check it out by clicking on the icon.  In the meantime, lets chat with her on how you create heroine to remember.  We’d love for you to join the conversation. Answer the question below for the chance to win a copy of Touch of the Gods or a sexy bookmark from D.X.

So D.X. what makes Vanessa kick ass?

She’s a big girl in a skinny world.  She’s the responsible one, a good head on her shoulders. Vanessa is a very independent woman who wants love, but knows that it will take a special kind of man to handle all the womanly curves she has to offer.

So true. It does take a special kind of man to love a kick-ass woman.  So how does Vanessa win a god’s love?

Just being her. Vanessa isn’t the type to try and get attention as she doesn’t feel she’s even someone a man would take a second glance at. So when she’s approached by Hephaestus, even she’s thrown by the sudden attraction he has for her.

Tell us, how does loving Vanessa change Hephaestus?

He finally realizes he no longer has to be the punching bag of his ex wife and family. He found his perfection and it’s in Vanessa. A favorite quote that he says to her is, “You are the only beauty I have in this world…”

That sums it up.

I completely agree. Let’s flip the question. How does loving Hephaestus change Vanessa?

She learns that there is nothing wrong with how she looks. She’s beautiful in the eyes of a god and knows that he’ll forever love her without needing her to change. It’s a beautiful feeling I think anyone can experience in their life.

Great characters stay with us always. Tell us D.X. why will we remember Vanessa and Hephaestus long after we put the book down.

The trials they suffer through just to be together is story of the ages. The book shows that even when it seems all is lost, there is always hope because of love. Plus they have some pretty hot scenes together that are truly unforgettable!

Here’s the Swag and how to get it.

We want to here from you and we’re giving out goodies.  Tell us which romance hero and/or heroine you remember and why?

Winners will be randomly selected using a random generator.  Contest goes on until August 17. Winners announced soon after that.

World building: How do you play?

Have you seen the newest Monopoly game, the electronic banking edition, where players swipe their debit cards to pay for property, taxes, etc…   What did you think?

My gut reaction—Yikes, playing with credit card look-alikes, how can that be good for raising kids?  The rational me reaction—No  surprise. Play mirrors life.  Hard to imagine that our grandchildren will even remember money.  Instead of buying Boardwalk with the roll of a square, plastic die, children playing Monopoly of the future may take a holographic site tour of Martian biodomes and have to calculate Martian-Earth exchange rates to create their intergalactic real estate empire.

And what about sex?  (Where are you going with this Sabrina, you ask.).  Toys depend upon and help shape our sense of touch (e.g. teddy bears, scrabble letters, monopoly pieces, baseballs etc…). They involve the hands and body by definition and develop our sensuality and sense of play.  So if play all happens through a remote, will sex in the future need one as well? Actually, if you look at current game control design, yeah, over there, hmmmm.  And then there’s the joy stick.  Anyhoo, I’ve digressed enough.

Children’s toys and games don’t often find their way into grown up entertainment. When they do show up, they’re not really about having fun.  In Star Next Generation Unification II, we meet a 24th century toy—Vulcan language dice, used by the Romulan Unificationists to teach their children Vulcan. Keeping the unification dream alive, toys are a political statement.  And these were Spock’s toys as a child which explains an awful lot. I adore Spock and the Vulcans, but let’s face it, they’re not a hell of a lot of fun.  Toys will tell.

Designing toys and play is fun part of world building even if they don’t actually show up in our final drafts.  I’ve found when I get stuck with a character, delving into their childhood–how they were parented, how they played, the toys they used—can breathe life into their personality and quirks and drives.

So how about you, any examples of other worldly toys you’d love to get your hands on or toys of the future you know are coming down the pipeline?   You are invited to play along.

Hosting My First Blog Hop: D.X. Luc Coming Soon

On Friday, July 27, I will be hosting my first Blog Hop.  Sponsored by the awesome duo Fiona Druce and Buffy Kennedy, I will be featuring D.X. Luc and her latest book Touch of the Gods:  The Wager.

D.X. has agreed to share with us what makes her heroine, Vanessa, a kick ass kind of gal and why we won’t be able to forget her or the hero who loves her long after you put the book down.  That hero just happens to be a god. Hot and naughty.

If you still need a reason to come, D.X. will be giving away great swag.

Hope to see you on July 27.

Alien Anatomy, Where is it?

Riddle me this. Why do almost all humanoid species and paranormal supernaturals sport the same sexual equipment and it works just like ours?  Their ears may be cupped, their blood silver, and two hearts beat in their belly, they buzz or glow in the happy moments or  have different erogenous zones but the sexual apparatus is non-negotiable.  Anatomy cannot impede true love.

It makes it easier to get it on with an Alien dude or dudette, but we’re more imaginative than that.  Invention is a human specialty.

Lets look at this logically? Vampire traditionally are dead, they don’t have kids so why does their equipment still work? What are the men ejaculating anyway?  Live sperm from the walking dead?  Dead sperm, now that’s a cold shower if there ever was one.  Yuck.  There are ways around this, of course.  We can make them a new, living species, ignore it because its fantasy, or innovate with it. In Morgan Hawke’s House of Shadows, our vampire hero Rick shoots blood. Messy but so very vampire.

Seems to me, playing with alternative genitalia can really spice up a paranormal, sci fi or any other story for that matter. Just because.

There are a few fun examples out there.  In another world created by Morgan Hawke’s Imperial Stars Series, skeldhi males have two, one for the front and back door. Aah creativity.

Laurell K. Hamilton’s Merry Gentry Series gave us  Sholto, King of the Slaugh, a hybrid, whose extra bits and bobs stimulate multiple parts. So you have the physical pleasure of a ménage but the emotional depth of a single partner.  That’s what I’m talking about.

These worlds don’t just push at the edges of the box, they obliterate it and rebuild.  (Hamilton goes well beyond anatomy but you’ll have to read it yourself).

How do we explore the depth of who we are, if don’t hack away at our barriers, including the anatomical ones?

Any favorite alien body parts out there? Examples of other books that don’t let human anatomy get in the way of a good story?